I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
