Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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