You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
