Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
