wakey wakey hands off snakey
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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