Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
