So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
