I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
