ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just high enough for therapy.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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