trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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