Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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