i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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