But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
