No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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