i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
