Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
