okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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