She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
