I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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