Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
