Please, let me fuck your mom
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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