Im at strip club and am horny
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
