cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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