He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
