It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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