I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
