I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
