Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
