Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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