remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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