every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
