You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
