there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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