how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
