Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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