Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
last night I used snow as a chaser
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
