tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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