I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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