We won't sleep together?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Never underestimate the power of titties
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
