Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
