And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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