bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
