apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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