Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
