my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
