I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
