I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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