cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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