Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
