So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
